Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Gisser's LiveJournal:

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Tuesday, July 20th, 2004
11:50 am	giss giss happy birthday giss giss. you could never understand how grateful i am for your presence in my life. thank you for giving up everything so i could be happy. it truely made my life beautiful, i now understand the meaning of love. happy birthday, i am looking forward to the amazing years and birthdays to come! (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Thursday, July 15th, 2004
3:23 pm	a day later. i can never write about her or recall the moments cuz perhaps i don't want to remember the pain that still embraces me. i have never fully written her a letter nor finished a letter or memory about her but all i want to say is, i will always miss you, i love you so dearly mama, wish you were here to watch us all grow up, and thank you so much for the first 14 glorious years of my life. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, April 26th, 2004
9:18 pm	gorissa Gorissa, today i missed you and our previous chaos. come home, my home not yours, i know but home is where i am dammit (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, April 21st, 2004
6:03 pm	longtimeq I could have sworn that I promised to write in this journal once a week but I always felt that for me I shouldn't become encapsulated in my sad thoughts because rarely have I gotten the desire to vent when my day has been amazing. This whole journal idea was for me to get down all of my emotion but I have never wanted a crutch and I was frightened of staying down. of course, it could be the best thing for me but perhaps i will never know. Lately, things have been phenominal in my life. I truly have some beautiful people in my life and many great ideas of the future (Comment on this)
Saturday, February 28th, 2004
2:33 pm	Wow, it has been a hell of a long time since i have written in this journal. I have not had access to a computer for more than a few minutes because my computer is dying. everything is so beautiful in life, of course there are those vast times of downs but they are all worth it for moments that i have experienced lately. next time i am in a bad mood i hope to refer to this thought. (Comment on this)
Saturday, January 24th, 2004
5:30 pm	new beginnings I have lost something that has been greatly important in my life. I may eventually be better for it. Hopefully, I will maintain the strength to gain something out of this experience and not fall into old habits. Damn old habits, always there, bahhh! I hope eveyone is doing great and keeping happy because happiness is extremely important in life. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Wednesday, January 14th, 2004
7:07 pm	Frustration Craziness! Ahh life is full of chaos. my soccer team has gone down the drain and no matter what my coach does we gradually become worse and worse. it is very frustrating to see people who do not genuinely love soccer and instead just go through the motions. Or that don't have enough respect for themselves to not trash talk others. I am beyond frustrated and i am losing it, not just with soccer but with life in general. everyone desires something more and i cannot stand that i look to the future for comfort and continually tell myself, " it will get better," because i want to be extremely happy now. I am a happy person but i have been losing it because i am way too stressed and i have no clue what to do about it. sorry for my uncontrollable complaining but i figure i need to vent a little, right? (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, January 12th, 2004
5:11 pm	Ahhhh! i just found out that i have the possiblity to travel this summer. oh my goodness, that would be so awesome. i hope things go through, if not then i have the rest of my life but i want this soooo bad. school has been going well, i wish i would have done better but then again, doesn't everyone? the semester is almost over. i look forward to another scene, i cannot wait for summer, it feels like summer up here besides the lake being cold. but i have to be going i just haven't updated in a while so i felt like it. everyone have a fantastic day (Comment on this)
Saturday, January 3rd, 2004
9:51 pm	It has been so long I haven't written in a while. I have not felt the need because sometimes the thoughts are false and only momentary. Things are going decently, always a desire for more, never satisfied. then again when is one completely content? it seems to be human nature to be insatiable. Christmas went quite well, different from last year but just as unfulfilling. we have no spirit of Christmas or the holidays in our house anymore. It is not even our house anymore, my siblings and I do not belong here but somehow we seem to have created this safehaven with eachother. This relationship that we have is one of the most beautiful things in my life. I am so glad for the sanity of my brother and the insanity of my gisser(guv you). I have a few more things to add to my likes and dislikes list i found today: likes: Mexican food, foreign accents, fresh powder, fun nights, individualism, So Co, freedom, happiness, my friends and family, shakira, knowledge, ignorance, my blazer, my sweet new jacket, night, stars, sleeplessness, sleeping, chinese food,phone calls from someone unexpected, a new year, a new day, my UPS conspiracy, thought, desires, hopes, dreams, my constant messy room, actually enjoying an assigned book, cool posters,puma store, Friends (the show) season 5, and so many other things. I am not in the mood for dislikes perhaps later. my moo is better now because i attempted irish jig dancing. it was totally awesome. goodnight everyone (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Wednesday, December 17th, 2003
6:19 pm	hmm San Diego Yes freedom, this fabulous weekend I get to stay in SD for a couple days. School will be out for a while, I get to go have fun and be liberated from the mountain for a good time. I am so excited now all i have to do tonight is finish my 20 page packet. hmmm... I have ten more chapters to read before I can accomplish that, sparknotes here I come! Current Mood: cheerful Current Music: Jason Mraz Remedy (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, December 12th, 2003
5:53 pm	Better happy mood I felt unsatisfied with that last comment because I am in a good modd but I was having a bad spell. I have a "haha victory" in my day today. I drove in snow for the first time. ok so it may have only been a little part and extremely slushy but who is to tell me that that isn't snow. So as far as anyone knows i battled the horrendous snow storm and came out victorious, yes that sounds right. Plus it is Friday and i get to have fun tonight. have a good night everyone (Comment on this)
5:32 pm	Christmas Christmas? What happened to our little snowglobe of a life? We are going to get the tree tomorrow. A different group of people this year, my dad,my brother and me. Last year, my sister and I went and chose the tree, It wasn't much but it was big and green. This year is just as uncheerful as last year. The second set of holidays without my mama. Her memory seems far away. She is just a memory now, nothing in the house is left to resemble her anymore, it is simply decoration tolerated by my brash step mother. Last Christams everyone forgot stocking stuffers for eachother,my sister and i were Santa. Let me tell you Christmas loses it's appeal when you're fifteen and Santa Clause. I remember when I was kinda youg after i found out Santa wasn't real, I always tried to wake up and see my parents setting gifts out. I woke up and heard Christmas music, I creeped into the living room and I saw my mom and dad sitting there drinking wine and laughing. They did that for hours. They truely were in love, I am beyond happy that I got the opportunity to see that kind of love in my lifetime. I miss that, I miss my father being genuinely happy. There will be beautiful times for him again (Comment on this)
Tuesday, December 9th, 2003
2:20 pm	ugh sick I hate being sick, you know, one maybe two days at most but 5 this is proposterous(sp?). ugh oh well, i will be bettew soon enough and when that time comes then i will once again conquer the world and beat out those damn brown trucks, ugh. that is all. i guv you gorissa (5 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, November 28th, 2003
9:17 pm	duck! well, today i enjoyed my first hockey game. i found it hilarious how the crowd only screamed with glee when there was a fight commencing. there seemed to be a lot of arghhhh's! possibly some quacks but most definetly a lot of those extremely annoying duck noises that are found in the infamous movie Mighty Ducks. I am possibly going with my gisser to a football game, i hope we go but if not then that is alright i just want to hang out with she and my brother. i love those two. they are so amazing and are by far the greatest people in my life. I love you both! Current Mood: cheerful Current Music: DMB (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Tuesday, November 25th, 2003
8:21 pm	happy i got my license wohooo! i am so damn young. oh well i am happy! (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, November 21st, 2003
3:44 pm	A Birthday Happy Birthday to my gorgeous mama mooooo! I just wrote an evil entry but today should not be a selfish day. it shouldnt be one of unhappiness, instead it should be in remeberance of her, of an angel. she is truely an angel. she always could fill even the coldest room with warmth. her smile would go from ear to ear and her happiness affected everyone around her. she is my soul mate just as others feel, i would not want her to only be mine, i do not want to be selfish with her memory. i constantly get told how much i resemble her, her smile and happiness. I hope that one day i could affect one person as much she affected the world. right after her death each of the children received the priviledge of choosing one of her pins, i got the one that resembled happiness. she was so happy and throughout my whole life i will value happiness and love over virtually everything. i miss you mommo and will for every single day of my life until i meet you again. i cannot wait to see you and i just thrive on the hope of being in your presence. mama mooo i do love you (Koala Lou). Happy B-Day! (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, November 19th, 2003
5:54 pm	sad news I just recently heard that this boy i was once friends with passed away. I am not 100% sure because i have not seen it in writing but I am almost sure. He recently experienced an accident. A friend of mine was driving and they got caught up with a semi. how sad. 17, with his whole life ahead of him and this one moment in time stole his future. as with every death,why him? he was not driving, the other passengers experienced minor injuries but his was fatal. Death is scary thing and for everyone who has experienced it,my heart goes out to you. thank you for listening and even if you do not believe in God pray for his family,please. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Sunday, November 16th, 2003
7:22 pm	pride and fire well, today has been full of events, not really but i would like to think so. First off sooooooooooooo sorry to my gisser for her loss, it is alright they will come back. i promise. I lost today, badly,damnit. 5-2 ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! the perfect end to a... wait the predictable end to an unsuccessful season. we were bound to screw up. we have a few who are willing to put the heart in even after the loss was inevitable and to put it nicely, i was not one of them. why not? i honestly have no clue but oh well no need to expand. now, the fire,yes school is commencing for me tomorrow. i am seriously scared. i expect to do so well but i have never put hard work into anything, i have been able to be a good studnet without trying. this year is a bit different. i constantly reassure myself that i will do better tomorrow but that isnt good enough anymore. i am just going crazy! i miss last year. I loved having stir fry nights and everyone over. i missed the structure a family provides but there was never lack of love. this year my father came back don't get me wrong i love him but he is crazy,extremely crazy in fact. mom held him in place, he is not a naturally kind man and neither is my step mom,ugh, i have a stepmother. nothing like my mom. it was this time last year(roughly) that my dad told my sis and i that he had gotten married and did not bother to tell us or invite us. he left for awhile and now he expects to have the same status as before. i do not respect him with the same intensity as i previously had. all i want is things to stay constant at some point in time. my strength from last year is solely mine, i am still a survivor but differently. i have no one to spoon with. she needs to move on and be successful because that is waiting for her but i want to go with her. someday i will but i just need to last another little while and then i will control my life and my father will not see me as an inconvenience rather as an art piece that he started with the canvas. thanx dad! ok enough of that I guv you giss giss (1 Comment |Comment on this)
12:17 am	SURPRISE! I have the coolest friends and family evew! i would give personal thanx but i am tired and i have a game tomorrow just thanx guys I love you all with so much of me! and so sorry to Joey and the boys we offended tonight and if you did it then i loathe you! Current Mood: cheerful Current Music: Happy B day song (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Thursday, November 13th, 2003
12:18 pm	Rufus Well, I would love to have a new baby Rufus for the backyard! Too bad my gisser let him die. Why would she not feed him? Damn camels do take too much effort for my liking. I have officially decided that I need to make lists of things I do like and don't like. Let me try with only a few things and gradually in the next while finish this list. Although, I may never complete it because I am so indecisive that I may have the largest inbetween list evew! but here it goes... Loves:My mommoo, my gisser(guvbug), my claubbo(wuvbug),my poppy(despite a few months or so), the beautiful game(thanx to whoever named it that), rain, dancing in the rain, sleeping in, waking up early for games, winning those games through hard work, trying my hardest and succeeding, just trying my hardest, my dream of traveling, actually traveling, Gisha Lynn, Kef, Danie, happiness, music, David Beckham jersey, David Beckham, My brother getting it for me in Spain, camels, tennessee sleeping goats, albino chetlan(sp?) ponies,PF Changs,chinese food, Palm Springs, San Diego, my future. Dislikes: Busy work, arguments, no mama, no gisser(i miss you!), no brudder(i miss you too), growing up too quickly, not growing up fast enough(i hate this inbetween stage), not succeeding, not trying my hardest, eating right or is it that i hate not eating right? hmmm... That is it for today, so perhaps there were more than a few but oh well. Have a great day! Current Music: California by whoever wrote for the show OC (1 Comment |Comment on this)